Hiding from the Truth
by Lu78
Summary: Something that came to me a while ago. My first WaT fic on here. MS implied. WARNING:- Character Death. Completed
1. Chapter 1

This was something that came to me ages ago but I haven't been able to get it down on paper, or disk. There is more to it and will continue for a bit. Please read and review. Let me know how I am going.

Warning- Character death.

The shot rang out startling everyone. Another shot followed knocking the suspect to the ground. Samantha looked up from her spot to see Jack with his gun trained on the suspect and Martin lying on the ground, blood pouring from a wound in his chest. Danny was by Martin's side, Vivian at Jack's. Samantha stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. There was such activity surrounding Martin. She stopped herself from running over to his side. Instead she slipped away from the scene. No one noticing she was gone.

Back in the office Samantha dwelled in the silence. The sky had turned black hours before, the only light shining in the office was that of her desk lamp. She knew she should be at the hospital but couldn't bring herself to leave the office. Something was keeping her in her chair, staring out into the dark night sky wishing on every bright star she could find.

As the sun rose, Jack trudged wearily into the office. He had tried all night to reach Samantha. He was a little annoyed to say the least that she had disappeared from the scene so quickly and hadn't stuck around to see how Martin was.

He glanced around the bullpen, surprised to see her at her desk. Her desk lamp still burned despite Samantha's head being on the desk, her eyes closed in what looked like a fitful sleep.

He walked over to her placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the touch, looking straight into the eyes of her boss. "Morning." She said weakly, trying to read an expression from his eyes. She knew he was angry but there was something else there.

"Why weren't you at the hospital?" He asked, his voice filled with anger, weariness and a little sadness.

"Thought I'd get a jump start on the paperwork." She managed to stutter out. "How's Martin?" She asked weakly.

"Samantha I didn't want to tell you this here." Jack started. "Martin died on the operating table.

Samantha turned her face away from jack. Surely he couldn't be telling the truth, please not let it be true. But looking back into the eyes of her superior she knew the truth. "Eh..." Was all she could say?

"I know." Jack told her as he wrapped his arms around her.

'No you don't.' Was all Samantha could think He knew nothing off what Samantha was feeling?

"I'd better get back to work." Samantha told him, pulling out of his arms and walking back to her desk. She glanced over at martin's as she went, a twinge of sadness sweeping over her.

By late afternoon, Vivian and Danny had appeared in. They both looked in disgust at Samantha for not showing up at the hospital. Samantha held her feelings inside for such a long time that now wasn't the time to let them out. Let her friends think that she didn't care.

In the days following Martin's death, everyone in the office avoided Samantha. It was as if they were punishing her for not being in the hospital when it happened. Although Vivian could see something in Samantha's eyes that no one else could. Maybe the junior agent was hurting after all. But still Samantha showed no emotion over his death.

The funeral was to be in Washington DC, in a cemetery near his parents home. Everyone wondered how the great Victor Fitzgerald was taking the death of his only son. Would he show any emotion on the day or would he stay as stony faced as he always did? They would all find out sooner or later.

The day was grey and dull, much like everyone's mood. Jack, Vivian and Danny had traveled down together. Samantha appeared not to be there. That just angered Danny even more. "She couldn't be there when he died now she hasn't the decency to show up at his funeral."

"Danny, just leave it." Vivian whispered to him. She had just spotted Samantha sneak into the back of the church, her eyes rimmed red, her pale skin even whiter than Vivian had ever seen her. Hopefully Vivian could speak to her after the service.

The service was short but very meaningful. His cousin's spoke of the best big cousin anyone could ever had. His father made a small speech, his voice faltering at the end, proving that he is human after all.

The church emptied as everyone headed to the cemetery. Vivian looked around and couldn't find Samantha anywhere. Had she really just disappeared after the service? Vivian was starting to get really worried about her. Danny was still moaning about her, saying how much of a lowlife she was. Jack stayed quiet about it all. He also thought there was something that Samantha wasn't telling them all. She must really be hurting over Martin. But why couldn't she talk to anyone over it. Why did she have to stay silent? He knew that she and martin were close, but just how close he didn't know.


	2. Chapter 2

Forgot to mention in the first part that this story is completely AU. Made from my own imagination so if the characters are not acting like themselves it's because I don't want them to. it may become more clear in chapters to follow. Read on - Lu. 

Monday morning rolled around again and for the occupants if the Missing Persons Department of the FBI in New York it was destined not to be a happy Monday. They had been granted a free weekend due to their attendance of their former colleague Martin Fitzgerald on Friday. Paula Van Doren had attended and had seen for herself the sadness it had caused her team. She had also noted the absentee-ism of one of the colleagues. Samantha Spade has chosen not to attend or so she thought. The young agent had called her yesterday asking for a meeting this morning. Hopefully some things could be worked out.

The atmosphere in the bullpen was one of deep sadness and a little hostility. Jack walked out of the elevator to see Danny and Viv already at their desks. No Samantha. He was beginning to worry a little about the young agent. Then again she was never one he had to worry about before. Samantha was headstrong and knew how to take care of herself. She could take care of herself.

He watched as she walked in, late. "Samantha, you're late." His harsh voice made Samantha spin round to face him.

"I've been in since eight Jack. I was in a meeting with Van Doren." She replied before walking across to her desk. Jack watched as she turned her computer on and got straight to work. No one spoke to her. Danny was still so angry with her. Jack didn't think he would ever forgive Samantha for the way she had been behaving.

A few hours later the door to Jack's office opened. "Jack." Samantha's voice pulled Jack from the daydream he was having. He turned to see her standing at his office door.

"Yes Samantha, what can I do for you?" He asked expectantly.

"I need to tell you something and then I want to take a few weeks personal leave if that's all right with you." She told him as she sat in the chair opposite his own. "I've already spoken to Van Doren and she agrees if you say it's all right."

"Samantha tell me what's wrong. You know you can tell me anything." Jack placed the pen he was holding back down on the table and clasped his hands in front of him.

"I'm pregnant, so I know that it means desk duty from now on. That I can deal with but I just need time to sort some things out. That's why I need the time off." She finished her speech before looking up to her boss. The look on his face was one of shock. "I know this comes at a tough time Jack, but I just have a few things."

"I suppose congratulations are in order. It's wonderful news Samantha. As for time off, sure. You have two weeks vacation time to take anyway. Can I ask you one question?" Samantha nodded. "I was just wondering who the father is? You haven't mentioned a boyfriend in the last while, so I'm curious."

'And a bit nosey.' She thought to herself. "I don't mind you asking Jack, but the father isn't in the picture anymore. So can we just leave it at that?" Samantha asked before standing. Jack noticed a difference in her already. The paleness in her face seemed to be gone. She had what his father called the pregnancy glow, even if she didn't look happy.

"Sure, but you know where I am if you need anything."

"Thanks Jack. I'll see you in two weeks." She said quickly before leaving his office and heading for the elevators.

"Where'd Samantha go?" Vivian asked as he joined her and Danny at the conference table.

"Home."

"Slacking off as usual." Danny retorted.

"No Danny she's not. She had a meeting with Van Doren this morning and has arranged two weeks off. She needs some time to get her head around her new situation. I might as well tell you. Samantha's pregnant." Danny and Viv both looked stunned. "I know I looked just as surprised as you do."

"Did she tell you who the father was?" Viv asked.

Jack shook his head. "Just said he wasn't in the picture any more. Lets just leave it at that just now. She'll tell us in her own time."

A few days after Samantha had gone on leave, Jack had a strange feeling something was wrong. "Vivian can you come in here a second?" He asked as she passed by his office.

"What's up?" She asked watching as jack ran his hand over his face, in tiredness and in frustration. Nothing seemed to be going right for him at the moment.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favour." Vivian nodded for him to continue. "Would it be all right if I asked you to go to Samantha's to check up on her? I have this strong feeling that she isn't telling us everything." He looked up into his colleague's eyes. "There was something about how she has been acting since the shooting that isn't adding up."

"Not a problem Jack. I'll head over there after shift. Maybe she'll talk to me. Tell me who the father of the baby is?" Vivian eyes jack. "You know that is what you really want to know."

"You got me. Just try not to make it so obvious. This is exactly why I am not going. I'd probably come straight out and ask, making her more upset than she already is."

Around four thirty that same afternoon Samantha lay on her sofa glancing at three photographs' that lay on her coffee table. It had taken all her strength that morning to get out of bed. She felt the same every morning since the shooting. But it was necessary to get up. She had to eat, drink, live. It was hard and even more so now.

The knock on her apartment door jarred Samantha from the daydream she was in. She was reluctant to answer it but the knocking wouldn't stop. She quickly pushed the photos inside the book that lay on the coffee table and trudged to the door. Swinging the door open she was surprised to find her work colleague in front of her. "Vivian, this is a surprise. Come in." As far as she knew they all still hated her but she wasn't let it bother her.

"Jack told us your good news. I just wanted to come over and make sure you were okay." Vivian told the young agent standing in front of her. Vivian was a little shocked by Samantha's appearance. Never before had she seen a woman look as lost as she found Samantha.

"I'm fine." Samantha told her. Vivian didn't believe a word of it. By looking at Samantha she could tell there was something wrong. "Honest Viv I'm doing okay. I'll be back at work next week."

"We're just worried about you Samantha. Jack said that you're going to do this alone. Are you sure you want to do it? Shouldn't you inform the father? Let him be part of it. You're going to need a lot of help." As Vivian spoke she watched the colour drain from Samantha's face.

"I'm going to be all right Vivian, thank you for your concern but really I'll be fine. Some how I will work it all out and bring my baby up on my own. The father is no longer in the picture so he doesn't need to know." Samantha was beginning to feel nauseous. "Vivian can you excuse me just a second. Please make yourself comfortable."

Vivian recognised the need to vomit from her pregnancy with Reggie. Samantha retreated through a door Vivian presumed to be the bathroom. She sat down on the sofa reaching for the book that lay on the coffee table. As she lifted it photograph's slid from the front cover. Vivian lifted them and gasped as she saw what was on them. She quickly put them back inside the book, laying the book back on the table and standing again. She heard the bathroom door open and Samantha came out, paler than she had gone in. "You okay?"

"Not really. Vivian, I need to lie down. DO you mind?"

"Of course not. Just call if you need anything. I mean it Samantha. Anything." Vivian placed her hand on Samantha's arm.

"Actually can I ask you a favour?" Vivian nodded. "Could you take the spare key for my apartment? Martin used to have it and I am forever forgetting my key in the morning. It's nice to know someone at work has one for me, just in case."

"Of course. If you're sure." Samantha nodded, not willing herself to speak again. She handed Vivian the key before showing her to the door. "Take care of yourself Samantha."

"I will, see you next week." Samantha told her before closing the door and heading for her bed.

Vivian walked back into the office, knowing Jack would still be there. "Vivian, I didn't expect to see you back here."

"Thought you might want to know what I found out."

"Of course. How is she?"

"A mess. She's really ill with the pregnancy but she is suffering Jack. I happened to find a few photograph's and I now know why she's such a mess."

"Why?" Jack asked impatiently.

"Martin's the father of Samantha's baby."

"What?"

"Jack I saw pictures. They had been dating a while by the looks of things. One picture from Christmas, one from Fourth of July and another from Thanksgiving just the other week. So it looks like she has had a lot on her plate. We should have given her more credit."

"I suppose but why didn't' she just tell us?"

"Maybe she couldn't."


	3. Chapter 3

Monday morning rolled around and Samantha was not looking forward to her day at all. She was headed back into work, but wasn't sure how she was going to handle it. Could she really work in the same place as he had? Could she work with the people, well mainly Danny, despised her? For the moment she would have too.

Even if she was feeling really awful. She had spent the weekend crouched over the toilet. This morning hadn't been much better, but hoped that the power of make-up covered the paleness of her skin and the dark rings under her eyes.

She made sure she arrived early, before everyone else was normally in. Then at least they couldn't complain that she was late. The bullpen was in silence when she entered. It was eerie. What made it even worse, she glanced over to Martin's desk, and it was empty. Someone had cleared it out. 'I hope he hadn't left anything in it about us.' She thought to herself. She shook her head and walked to her own desk, not five feet away. Working in such close proximity was what brought them together in the first place.

Slowly everyone began to arrive. Danny gave her the cold shoulder, while Jack and Viv both gave her a small smile. Viv could tell just by looking at her just how bad she felt. She looked worse than Viv had seen her the week before. Maybe being back at work would help the young agent out. But then Viv thought about it and knew that it probably wouldn't. Martin and Samantha had managed to keep their relationship a secret and as far as Samantha knew it still was. How would she cope working back in the unit?

Around nine o'clock Jack gathered them all at the conference table. He knew this was going to be hard but it had to be done. "Everyone I'd like to introduce the newest member of our team. This is Melissa Friedman. She comes to us from Washington DC." As Jack spoke he watched Samantha from the corner of his eye. He watched as her face paled and tears sprung into her eyes. "I hope you'll all make her feel welcome."

Danny and Viv stood to greet the newest member of the team. Samantha held back for a moment before painting a smile on her face. "Welcome." She simply said.

Jack showed Melissa over to what used to be Martin's desk. "You'll be working from here. Make yourself comfortable and don't forget to ask if you need a hand with anything." Jack walked back to his office, not before casting another glance at Samantha.

Melissa sat down in the chair and turned to where her new colleagues sat. She knew that they had lost her predecessor through the job, but wasn't sure what the young man had been like. She turned to where Samantha sat. "Can I ask you what Martin was like?"

Samantha took a deep breath but before she could answer Danny butted in. "Don't ask her." He spat out. "She didn't care for him. Martin was the nicest guy you could ever have met. Cared for everyone, even if everyone didn't care for him." He carried on not seeing the hurt in Samantha's face.

She knew why Danny was upset but he had no right to take it out on her. Then again, maybe he did. Maybe this was his way of dealing with it all.

Later in the afternoon they finally got a case. This was what Samantha had been waiting for. To get back into work. "Mark King, 35, disappeared while out for his morning jog. Wife thought he had gone straight to the office but when they called to say he hadn't arrived she got worried. Danny take Melissa and go to his work place. Viv and I are going to talk to the wife. Samantha can you get started on his credit report and phone records."

She sighed before nodding. She forgot all about desk duty. As much as she wanted to be pregnant she hated just sitting about.

When everyone appeared back in the office a few hours later after a relatively quick find Jack asked if everyone wanted to go for drinks. "To welcome Melissa to the team."

Samantha piped up. "Think I'll leave it Jack."

"That's right you don't care for us any more." Danny spat at her.

"No Danny that's not the case but if that's what you want to think then go ahead. See if I care." She spat back before disappearing from the bullpen.


	4. Chapter 4

'Here goes nothing.' Jack thought to himself as he walked towards the conference table in the middle of the bullpen. It was the start of another week. And from the letter he held in his hand he knew it wasn't going to be any better than the week previous. How they had all managed to get through the week he didn't know? Samantha and Danny had been at each other's throats all week. Well rather Danny had sniped at Samantha at every possible turn while she had sat and taken everything he had said, not answering back at all. "Morning all." He tried to sound as cheery as possible.

"Jack this isn't all. Where's Samantha?" Viv asked, looking at Jack for some sort of explanation.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you all about. I received this letter at home on Saturday morning. Let me read it to you. Dear Jack, I am sorry to do this to you right now but I am handing in my letter of resignation, which is effective immediately. I am just out of a meeting Van Doren and she has okayed it. I can no longer do my job to the best of my ability and feel that working on desk duty, while I have to do it, is not worthwhile. Again I apologise but it's something I have to do. Tell the others I am sorry that I have gone like this. You and Viv have always done right by me and I hope that you know it was appreciated. I understand why Danny is upset but he doesn't know the half of it. Can you let Melissa know that she has starting working in the best possible place. I will miss it but hope you understand why I have done this. Yours Samantha. PS can you ask Viv to bin the key to my apartment that she has. I no longer need it."

"Oh my God!" Was all Viv could find her voice to say.

"I know." Jack replied. "I went by her place on Sunday to try and talk her out of it but she has moved out and no one knows where she has gone."

"Do we treat it as a missing person?" Melissa asked. She felt sorry for the group in front of her. Not only had they lost one colleague but now another.

"No. Samantha is okay. No matter where she is. She will come back when she feels right. This is something we have to let her do." Jack told his new recruit. He looked to Danny. "You okay Danny?"

"Yeah, nothing to do with me." He said, but deep down he was hurting. He didn't want to think he had driven his best friend away. But still he felt angry with her for everything that she had put them all through.


	5. Chapter 5

Danny's POV

Well it's been almost five months since Samantha did her disappearing act on us. And I have to say my feelings are mixed. I mean I am angry that she left, angry for a lot of things she did before hand as well, but I am also a little worried about her. I know she can handle herself. God, she's taken beatings before that even I wouldn't have. She has also beaten up on people that I wouldn't have, so in that respect I know she is all right.

But she is pregnant and needs looking after. No one and I mean no one has seen her since that Friday she left here without a word. We received the letter on the Monday and haven't heard a word since. Jack told us that she had moved from her apartment, which I thought was rather strange. She loved that apartment. It was finally something she could call hers.

You see Samantha didn't have the greatest of lives before she arrived in New York. Her and I became very close friends when we were at the academy together. Hit it off straight away on the first day. She would come to me with anything which is why I am surprised she is hiding from us now.

Her life in Wisconsin was a bad one. Her father left when she was really young and from then on a string of her mothers boyfriends were, lets just say, less than friendly towards her. She tried to run away time and time again but she was always found. Until she was eighteen and managed to make it to New York where she decided to join the FBI. And from then on she has been the strongest person I know.

When Martin died I was shocked by her behaviour. It just wasn't her and that's why I got angry with her. She just didn't seem to care. Jack and Viv know something but aren't telling me anything. They say she'll tell me all in her own good time. I just wish it would be soon. I miss her, even though I am angry with her.

End POV

"Danny, Viv, my office now!" Jack's voice bellowed through the bullpen. Danny looked at Viv, who only shrugged. They both walked into his office and stood in front of his desk. "I received this today. Thought you may want to read it too." Jack handed a simple piece of white paper to Viv, who began reading.

"What does it say?" Danny asked, like an impatient child, looking over her shoulder.

Viv started to read the letter out loud. "Dear Uncle Jack, Auntie Viv and Uncle Danny, Hi my name is Ben and I am now officially six days old. My mommy says I am a bruiser as I weighed in at 9lbs 6ozs when I was born last week. She says she sorry that she has been gone for such a long time but she hopes that you will understand why. She is asking if you will come to our new apartment on Saturday night (she even says she'll cook) so that you can meet me and she'll explain it all. I hope you can all come. Our new address is 1642 Apartment 2 West 101st.

Hope to see you soon love and cuddles from Ben (and his mommy)" Viv finished the letter with a smile on her face. "I am glad he's here. I hope she's all right."

"So, are we going to go?" Danny asked.

"Of course we are, and when we get there Danny we are not going to question her and beat into her like we did before she left are we?"

"No Jack, we're not." Danny said, even though he wanted to.

"It's not what she needs right now, and as the letter says she is going to explain everything. That's what we need to do for her, is just be there to listen." Jack told the young agent.

"Can Samantha cook?" Viv asked jokingly.


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday night arrived all too quickly for all parties involved. Samantha was really apprehensive about seeing everyone after such a long time. She had spent most of her day preparing a meal that she hoped would be edible. It had been a while since she had lat cooked for more than just her.

Meanwhile across town Danny was a little apprehensive too. He had every right to be. He hadn't exactly treated her right since Martin had died but hopefully they could work things out tonight. He glanced at the address again. He couldn't believe that she had moved, and into a not so very nice neighbourhood. He walked down the stairs of his building and climbed in his car, heading to pick Jack and Viv up.

Arriving in Samantha's new neighbourhood her friends just looked around and cringed. How could she live like this? But the more Jack thought about it, she had given up her job and probably hadn't had much income over then. Why couldn't she ask for help? Hopefully she would tonight.

They slowly climbed the stairs to the second floor apartment and knocked cautiously on the door. It seemed to take a few minutes before they heard shuffling feet on the other side on the door and the locks being pulled.

The door opened to reveal Samantha standing on the other side, looking just as beautiful as always. Motherhood was certainly agreeing with her, Viv thought. "Come in." Samantha stood back allowing her friends to enter her small apartment. "Glad you could make it."

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world." Jack told her. "Congratulations." He said handing over a small gift.

"Thank you Jack." Samantha shyly answered. "I have a lot of explaining to do tonight but first off I want to apologise for disappearing on everyone like I did but after I tell you some things tonight, hopefully you'll understand." Samantha finished her little speech by looking at Danny. Danny turned his head away not wanting to look his best friend in the eye.

"So where is the little bundle of joy?" Viv asked as she gave Samantha a hug.

"He should just be getting up, give me a second." Samantha excused herself from the small living room heading into one of the doors that lead off the living room. It gave the others a chance to see exactly where she had been living. "Here he is." Samantha announced as she appeared back in the room with a small bundle of blue blanket in her arms. "I'd like to introduce you to Ben." Everyone peered into the bundle to have a look at the little one who seemed to have stolen Samantha's heart. "Danny do you want to hold him?" Samantha asked, hoping to break the ice with him.

"Eh, sure." Danny said accepting the baby into his arms. Samantha could only smile as she watched her best friend hold her son. "So Ben Spade, I like it." He smiled at the baby before smiling at Samantha.

"He isn't Ben Spade." Samantha stated as everyone took a seat.

"But I thought you said." Danny started.

"Yeah his father isn't in the picture and never will be but I wanted to honour him so Ben has his fathers surname. I'd like to introduce Benjamin Martin Fitzgerald." Samantha took a minute to register everyone's response. Viv and Jack didn't look too surprised but Danny looked shell shocked. "Martin was, is, his father."

"So you and Martin were dating?" Jack asked, finally getting to know exactly what had been going on for the last while.

"We had been dating for about eighteen months when he was killed. In fact three days before he died, he proposed and I said yes. So right now we should be a family, but I am here being a single mother." Viv couldn't help but notice the sadness in Samantha's voice. "Jack you and Viv didn't seem to shocked when I told you?"

"That's because we knew. The day that I came to visit, I came across photo's of you both." Viv told her.

Samantha nodded her head and walked to the fireplace. "These ones." She said as she stood the three photo frames on the fireplace back up. Viv nodded as she recognised the photos from that day.

"He really does look like Martin doesn't he?" Danny commented.

"Yeah, it's the eyes. I know that they could change and be brown like mine but I hope they stay blue, like his daddies. "

"So what about Victor and Catherine? What do they think of their grandson?" Jack asked. He watched as Samantha tensed up.

"They don't know about him. I am planning a trip down to DC on Monday. Hope they take it all right."

"So why did you just tell us back then, when Martin died?" Danny finally asked.

"I couldn't. Danny you may never understand what I was going through back then. I don't expect any one to but I was dying inside and I felt I had no one. So the best thing to do was to hide."

"But here, you could have lived somewhere nicer than here?" Jack asked.

"It was all I could afford at the time." Samantha told him. "But when Ben is old enough and I can come back to work, I'll move again, to somewhere nicer." Samantha said in a dreamy voice. Already dreaming of days with her son in a nicer apartment. "Now who's ready to eat?"


	7. Chapter 7

The knock on the front door at 2.30 in the afternoon took Catherine Fitzgerald away from her favourite afternoon show. It was the only one she allowed herself to watch. If she didn't she feared sometimes she would go mad. Loosing her son almost seven months previous had almost killed her and she couldn't face going back to work so here she was sitting around her home, watching daytime TV and indulging in the hobbies she gave up when she married Victor Fitzgerald.

Opening the door she was faced with Samantha Spade. Her son's girlfriend, a woman she hadn't seen since before Martin died. "Samantha this is a surprise." Catherine said enveloping the young woman in a hug.

"I know it's been a while Catherine, but I hope you will let me explain." Samantha said quickly before she lost her nerve.

"Of course I will, come on in." Catherine stepped back and was shocked to see Samantha pick up a baby car seat from the ground.

"I know what this may look like but I want to tell you the whole story." Samantha started. "Firstly I want to apologise for not coming to you in the days after Martin..." Samantha paused, unable to say the word. "It was very hard for me as I assume it was for you. But I had other circumstances surrounding me that a lot of people knew nothing about." Setting Ben's chair on the floor, Samantha took a seat on the sofa beside Catherine. "No one in the bureau knew Martin and I were dating."

"You had been dating a long time, how come no one knew?" Catherine asked.

"We managed to keep it a secret. Your husband knew and he promised us he wouldn't tell anyone. It could have ruined our chances of working together and that we couldn't do." Samantha explained. "Did you know that three days before it happened Martin proposed to me?"

"I knew he was thinking about it. He had spoken to us a few weeks before and asked for his grandmother's ring. She had willed it to him before she died." Catherine watched as Samantha reached beneath the shirt she was wearing and produced the ring on a chain around her neck. "I take it you said yes?"

Samantha nodded before speaking again. "I was so happy Catherine. Happier than I had ever been in my life. I didn't have the greatest of childhoods and my life since coming to New York wasn't exactly all roses as well. Meeting Martin gave me a new lease on life. A life that I never thought I could have." Ben started to cry at that point and Samantha reached down and lifted him into her arms, softly kissing his cheek in the process. "But what Martin didn't know the day he dies was that I was pregnant. I had only just found out that morning and was going to tell him that night. That never happened."

"So I have a grandson?" Catherine asked looking at Ben. Samantha nodded before handing Ben over to his grandmother. "Samantha can I ask you something? In the months since Martin's death did you visit his grave?"

Samantha nodded. "Every Sunday, why do you ask?"

"A friend of mine used to say she saw a young pregnant girl at martin's grave but never knew who you were. You really travelled down here every Sunday?"

"Yeah, I had to feel close to him some how. Wanted to tell him all about the child growing inside me. The child you now hold."

"I haven't even asked his name?"

"Benjamin Martin Fitzgerald. He even looks like him." Samantha said proudly.

"That he does."

"Catherine, I am not down here asking for anything, I just Ben to have the chance to know you. For you to have the chance to know your grandson."

"Surely you need help though?" Catherine asked.

"Hadn't really thought about it yet. Haven't had time to think about a lot these days. Ben takes up most of my time and that I don't mind. I tell him about Martin all the time. Even though he will never meet him, or know him in person. I want my son, to know exactly who his father was."

"Samantha you are a very brave woman and I don't blame you for one minute for hiding away from us while you were pregnant, but you know we would have been there for you."

"I know, I just wasn't sure how Victor would take it. He agreed to Martin and I dating, but he never really liked me."

"But you went through this on your own."

"That I did, but I survived and look what I have to show for it." Samantha said, taking Ben back, just to have him in her arms again.


	8. Chapter 8

Catherine passed a now sleeping Ben back to his mother who held onto him, giving his soft cheek a little kiss before settling him against her shoulder. The baby let out a little sigh before snuggling closer to his mother.

"So you told me he proposed, was he romantic in doing it or did he just ask?" Catherine asked, watching the love in Samantha's eyes light up for her son.

"He was very romantic Catherine, always was. We had been out for dinner and were walking through Central park on our way home. A little detour he called it but I didn't mind. I just loved being in his company." Samantha smiled at the memory. "He led me to Bethesda Terrace. We used to love sitting there on days off, just watching the world pass us by. Sounds silly but it was what we liked. Anyway he sat me down on the little bench beside the fountain and kneeled before me and told me that he loved me more than life itself and would do anything to have me as his wife. At which point I broke down into tears." Catherine watched as a single tear travelled down Samantha's cheek as she reminisced. "I told him that he didn't have to do anything. I would be his wife no matter what. That's when he placed the ring on my finger. We had decided to come down that weekend and tell you before telling everyone at work. We had even started planning the wedding."

"Really?" Catherine asked. Samantha nodded. " You know Samantha I always wanted my son to marry, but when he told us he wanted to marry you, I'll admit I wasn't so sure. But I looked back over the photo's we had from eh time you were dating. You were so happy together, so in love. I couldn't deny him that. You were so right for him and I couldn't have been happier to have you as my daughter."

Tears streamed from Samantha's eyes. "Thank you." She managed to squeak out. "It means so much to hear you say that."

"But what I don't understand is that after he died, why you couldn't come to us? Why you weren't at the funeral?"

"Catherine I was there. At the funeral. But I couldn't face anyone. All me colleagues at work weren't talking to me. They said I had betrayed Martin by not being at the hospital when he died." Samantha saw the look on Catherine's face. "At the scene after he had been shot I disappeared. I went back to the office and stayed there the night. Jack found me the following morning and told me. If I had gone to the hospital, everyone would have known. I had just watched my fiancé be killed in front of me and I just couldn't face having everyone watching me. So I disappeared. Hiding from the truth I suppose you could say."

"Samantha we would have been there for you." Catherine told her.

"I know you would have been, but you have to understand, no one in the bureau knew about us. We hadn't said anything to anyone. I didn't want people thinking that I was a ..." Samantha couldn't even finish her sentence, she didn't know how.

"Oh Samantha. So how did you cope?"

"I just did. That's what I'm best at."

The front door opening and Victor Fitzgerald entering the room interrupted conversation. "Agent Spade, what do we owe this pleasure." He asked, his voice full of sarcasm.

"Sir I am no longer an agent. I just came for a visit." She answered timidly.

"I don't want you in this house." He almost bellowed. Ben jumped from Samantha's shoulder. She shushed him before looked back to Martin's father.

"Victor." Catherine started.

"No Catherine, she ruined my son's life and now look at her. She didn't even have the decency to show up at his funeral and now she thinks she can just come here."

Samantha tried to control all the emotions she had flying about inside her body at the time. She couldn't stop the tears from falling as she placed Ben back into his seat. "Catherine I am so sorry. I should never have come. I am sorry." She said quickly as she gathered Ben's seat and bag into her arms and ran for the door.

"Samantha no, don't go." Catherine called after her but it was too late. Samantha was gone. She wheeled around to look at her husband. "Why did you do that?"

"What? It needed to be said. She did ruin Martin's life; she was never right for him and look at her now. She must have been cheating on him, she has a baby."

"A baby that is your grandson. If you had taken the time to ask." Catherine watched as her husbands face softened. "Yes, see you speak before you think. That girl has been doing everything on her own since she lost her fiancé."

"Fiancé?"

"Yes, Martin asked her to marry him and she had accepted. They were going to tell us that weekend, but they didn't due to the fact he was killed in front of her three days after he had asked. The day she found out she was expecting his child. How do you think she has been coping?"

Victor stood in stunned silence. "What have I done? I should go after her?"

"Yes you should. She's probably headed for the cemetery. Said something about introducing Ben to his daddy." Catherine said as her husband headed for the door.

"Ben?"

"Yeah, Benjamin Martin Fitzgerald. Your grandson." She told him as they walked to the car. "Let's go find them."


	9. Chapter 9

Victor set the car in park as he came to a stop in the cemetery car park. It was late afternoon and the sky was just starting to turn. It wasn't very often that he came to the cemetery but today he was on a mission. He only hoped that Samantha had come as she said she would. He hadn't noticed any other cars in the car park, but maybe just maybe he would get his chance to apologise.

Samantha walked slowly to Martin's gravesite. She had been here a lot since his death, but today was a little more poignant. Today she had brought her son to see where his father now lay. She crouched down beside the headstone and ran her hand across the cold grey marble that held his name.

"Hey Martin, I know it's been a few weeks since I have been to talk to you, but you know why. I brought our son to see you. Martin I only wish you were alive to see him. He is beautiful, so much like you. Even your mom said so. I went to visit her today and try to explain myself. I hope she understood. Your father didn't seem to want to know. He is just looking for someone to take his anger out on and if that is me then I can live with that." She paused as she lifted Ben from his carrier. "This is Ben. Ben this is your daddy. Daddy may no longer be with us but he will always be here. Martin I know you were with me in the delivery room, I know that you saw your son being born, I only wish you could see him now. It's going to be hard bringing him out without you but hopefully I can do it."

"Of course you can." The deep voice startled Samantha. She turned to see Victor Fitzgerald standing behind her. "Samantha I hope you will give me the chance to explain and apologise."

"Sure." Her voice didn't sound so sure, but if Victor was willing to talk, then she was willing to listen.

Victor held his hand out to Samantha, who took it and gracefully got up. He led her to the bench that sat opposite Martin's grave. "Samantha I am so sorry for the way I reacted to you being in my home. I acted like a fool, not giving you the chance to tell me why you were there. I didn't give you the chance because I didn't want to. As you said to Martin, I needed to take my anger out on someone and unfortunately you were standing in my eye line at that moment in time." Victor paused, briefly pinching the bridge of his nose. "I haven't been dealing very well since Martin passed away. I have always wanted someone to blame. No one really understood the relationship I had with my son and I can't blame anyone but myself for that. I didn't mean it when I said you ruined Martin's life. You didn't, you made his life so much better. Watching him when he was with you was like watching a different person. He was so happy, so in love." Again Victor pinched the bridge of his nose. Samantha quickly swiped at a tear that threatened to fall. "Looking at the photographs from Christmas I couldn't help but feel jealous of you for having such a close relationship with him. It was the kind of relationship I had always wanted with him, but never had."

"I truly did love him Victor. I don't know how to live without him." Samantha admitted.

"You seem to have been doing all right so far." He replied looking down to the baby lying in her arms.

"I can put up a good front. I've been doing it all my life. Victor I left my job because of Martin's death, I moved house because I couldn't stand to live in the place where we had been so happy. I am living in a tiny apartment in a not so nice neighbourhood because too many places remind me of him." Samantha wiped at her eyes again. "Coming here every Sunday gave me something. I don't know what but it was something. I was hoping that you and Catherine would want to get to know Ben, have him as part of your lives because he only has me. I figured he would do better with the three of us."

"Samantha I didn't realise you had been doing it so hard. You should have been in contact with us sooner. You should have known that we would have been there for you." Victor paused before shaking his head. "Then again I didn't give you much help and support while he was alive. Maybe now you will let me do it for you and Ben."

"I'd like that." Samantha said handing the baby over to his grandfather. Victor stood with Ben in his arms and extended his arm to Samantha. She walked into his embrace and felt warm again for the first time in a long time. "So this is where Martin got his great hugs from." She smiled up to him as he smiled down at his grandson.

Catherine stood to the side with tears in her eyes. She had never seen this side of her husband before and she hoped that she would see it again.


End file.
